Strike Two
I had to go downstairs to test this morning, because DD was bouncing around the bathroom. But, nothing. No second line.
When I came back upstairs, I thought DD had a look of anticipation (maybe excitement?) in his eyes, waiting for the news. But, when I asked him, he said no. I had to remind myself that he is in this only for me, but his preference is to stick with one child (only for the reason that he thinks he's too old). I know that I keep fantasizing at some level that he will be excited, but maybe that's not going to happen. Please understand -- my husband is the best father I could possibly imagine, and my own father regularly tells me that he is in awe of the relationship DH has built with our daughter. I know that he would be just as wonderful with a second child, and that he would love that child unconditionally. But still, I can hope for some excitement in the process.
Anyway. Nothing, nothing, nothing. And even though it's early, I'm starting to feel a little depressed. I am telling myself that I will wait until Monday to test again, but who knows if I will have the willpower. Especially since today is my errand day. I'm certain that I'm going to run into some sticks on the shelf with my name on them, don't you think?
Updated to add: I just looked at the date on this post, and it made me feel sad. For some reason, I thought the 17th was yesterday, and I'd missed it for the month. I still can't believe that it has been eight whole months since my mom died, and I haven't accepted it even yet. I wish she were here, for oh so many reasons, but right now, I just want to complain to my mommy about my stupid test results. Silly, I know. If she were here, there would be so many more things that I would do, the first of which is hug her and never let her go.
:-( for both mom and no second line, yet.
Posted by: DE Mommy | May 17, 2008 at 09:50 AM
I'm sorry....My husband was always pretty detached when I was cycling--I think it was his way of protecting himself from possible disappointment.
Thinking of you.
Posted by: BrooklynGirl | May 17, 2008 at 04:56 PM
not sill at all to want to complain to your mom...i sometimes think time doesn't make loss easier it just makes us able to get more used to the idea.
thinking of you and keeping fingers and toes crossed...step away from the stick (if you can).
Posted by: stacyb | May 18, 2008 at 09:29 AM
Big, big hugs. And big, big hopes sent your way.
Posted by: Anjali | May 18, 2008 at 03:34 PM