Internist #1: I have no idea why you have very infrequent stomach pain. Let's do an ultrasound. (Ultrasound completed.) Handwritten note, read by a clerk, instructing me to see a surgeon for gallstones. The note is subsequently mailed. No further discussions with internist. WTF?
Surgeon #1: Hmmm. (After quizzing me about 16 possible symptoms, none of which I have). I'm sure it must be your gallbladder. And, I have an answer for everything. You need surgery! Side effects? Bah, no side effects. And do stay away from the Internet. It will just confuse you. I take out seven of these a week -- or more! It's no big deal. Why, just recently, I removed a gallbladder from a 17 year old, and she didn't even have gallstones! I thought that I might have been a little hasty there. But, her mom later told me that she feels better now. So, I must have been right. I'm always right. Now, when do you want to do your surgery?
OB/GYN (now retired from OB, but who delivered DD, over the phone): When you're pregnant, the bile becomes viscous. It causes stones to develop. GET IT OUT!!! If you were my wife, that's what I would tell you. GET IT OUT!!! Even if you're not having symptoms. You don't want to take a chance that you will get pregnant and have a problem. (I love him with all my heart, but this is not exactly what I wanted to hear.)
Internist #2: Gee. Your (one) symptom doesn't sound like a gallbladder problem. And, we don't usually go around removing gallbladders that aren't causing any trouble, especially since many, many people are walking around with this problem and don't even know it. I think the chances would be small that you would have a problem if you were to get pregnant, but that is not my area of expertise. Have you talked with your RE? (No, he's an a$$hole, and it would not be beyond him to insist that I have surgery if I wanted to continue treating with him, because he's an ultraconservative jerk. But I did talk with my old OB. He said GET IT OUT!!!) Well, you should meet with a surgeon. (We did.) Well, he sounds like an interesting guy. Was he wearing an expensive Italian suit as well? Perhaps a more conservative surgeon might be a bit better. And, since I don't think that your stomach problem has anything to do with your gallbladder, why don't we get an upper GI? (As opposed to an endoscopy. F*ck.)
Interview with Surgeon #2 next week. Location: East outer Mongolia. And in the meantime, I have to figure out where to get an upper GI locally (to avoid a 100 mile round trip to the university hospital). BTW, this is the test that I never, ever wanted to have done. Even during the few times a year that this problem actually bothers me, I would just tell myself that making myself throw up is far better than having to swallow chalk. I don't know why this test just freaks me the heck out, but it does. Damn, damn, damn.
In the meantime, I asked my RE if I could take an extra month of pills, because I am having a stressful period at the moment (um, that is not a lie). He agreed. So, the Lupron that I was supposed to start on Monday will now be delayed until 11/10. It would be nice if I could trust him more, but after that p*ssing contest we got into over breast feeding and having a medicated cycle, I'm just not going there with him again.
I think, in the end, I might just have to flip a coin. After I swallow some chalk.