New Midlife Mommy

Where Did She Go?

We spent Easter Sunday with my family.  We usually go to my brother's house, and spend Easter with my parents, brother and sister-in-law, and their three kids.  We get a nice gourmet dinner (carry out, because no one feels like cooking), and we enjoy the day.

Yesterday, DD had a lot of fun playing with her cousin, who is turning six next week.  DD will be 20 months old this month, and she is growing so fast.  But, what struck me yesterday is that my baby is gone! 

I waited so long to have a baby.  At first, it was because I didn't meet the right person until my late 30's.  Then, it was four years of battling infertility.  All that time, I imagined what it would be like to have a child.  Someone to hug, cuddle, snuggle with.  Well, it seems like that only lasted a couple of months and then we were off to the races.  As DH said, "you had your time, now get over it."  (He's so sensitive, don't you think?)

Yesterday, from time to time, I asked for a hug.  No dice.  Gotta play, mommy.  Sit on your lap?  No way, mommy.  Got stuff to do.  A quick kiss?  What, are you kidding?  I might miss some time pushing this stroller around or playing with that dolly.

Sheesh.  I've been here all along.  Where did the time go?  At least she still looks like my baby, and not quite a little girl -- yet.  But that day is coming too.  And I'll be here, waiting for whatever time she can spare.

Insensitivity

This morning, I went to one of those walk-in clinics to have my ear examined.  I think that I got an upper respiratory and sinus infection, and fortunately, I had a stash of a course of antibiotics that I started a couple of days ago.  This morning, I could hardly hear out of my left ear, so I thought I would pop in to see a doctor at the walk-in clinic to rule out an ear infection.  I had one last year, and it arose rather quickly and was very unpleasant.

As the nurse was taking my vitals, we started talking about what sounded like a very upset small child in one of the rooms.  The nurse said "don't tell anyone, but it is his one year birthday today."  I offered sympathy for the poor little guy, and mentioned that I had a little one of my own, soon to be eighteen months old.  I thought the nurse was going to fall off the chair, he seemed so surprised.  He said "oh???"  Then he mentioned that his baby days were over, giving me the ages of his kids, which ranged from 24 to 35 (geez, he didn't look old enough to me to have kids of that age).  He also mentioned that he has a grandchild who is 9 years old.

I was a little taken aback by his obvious surprise that I had a small child.  It really isn't that unusual, is it?  Things like that make me feel so old.  I think it will only get worse as time moves on, because I will look more like a grandma than I do now (and I don't think I look that much like a grandma, thank you very much).  Sheesh, I will be 60 when DD is 14, and DH will be 71.  I hope we don't embarrass her too much with our geriatric selves!