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October 17, 2010



You said everything I have felt. I, too, wonder what the purpose is. You eloquently put my feelings out there. I am so sorry for your loss.


I'm so sorry about all of this. Be good to yourself.


I don't think you can have losses like this and not wonder what the purpose of it was. The closest "answer" that I came across (from another infertile's blog, I think) is the Buddhist belief that some souls have almost reached enlightenment and need only to briefly touch the earth one more time and feel loved so that they can reach nirvana.

Although I'm not Buddhist, I held on to this belief in those moments when the despair was overwhelming. And, even though it may not be true, I found some comfort in the idea and still do.


Oh, I'm so sorry that you are going through this! There is nothing at all to say, really, except that I know how real and awful it is, and I mourn with you.

Sending lots of sweet, gentle wishes your way.


Oh I am so sorry to hear that. Really sorry. Please take care of yourself.

Yvonne Clark Adams

Hi, I just found your blog and wanted you to know how sorry I am. 3 weeks ago my daughter died, she was born at 23.5wks gestation and the words you wrote are the words I feel. I am so sorry for your pain.



I'm so sorry for your loss and I wish there was something I could say to help take some of your pain away.


I recognize all of these feelings - I lost my first baby at 11 weeks (also convinced it was a boy, also felt that unbelievable pain). (Another at 8 weeks, 2 chemicals ~4 weeks) I spend a lot of time being mad at God. He can take it, I think. I wish there were something I could say to help...

I'm so sorry for your loss.


So damn unfair and I think it too: what's the fucking point?! I remember all too well the pain of the loss of a pregnancy. Some of the short ones were easier, but I found it was cumulative. Your deep pain is all the losses, the loss of this one that seemed to be the one, the loss of the others, and the loss of the possibility that this is the way you would have your next child.

Damn, I am so sorry. And there is nothing wrong with being mad at God. I am sure it happens every day. Rage on because this is so damn over the top awful. (but be gentle with yourself now. You are the mama, for that too-short time, to the special babe that lived within you. Honor his home, where he lived in you, be gentle on yourself.)

Sorry for the pain too. Sorry for it all.


I am so so sorry for your loss which is close to me, as I just had a D&C in March after 8 weeks. Do whatever you need to do to help you grieve. My thoughts are with you sending whatever it is you feel you need.

Jenn (dish)

I am catching up on blog reading and can't believe that this has happened. I am so very sorry. Sending prayers that you do find peace (I know it will take a lot of time, though) and sending hugs.


So zsorry to read this news. it is just utterly miserable, and my heart broke for your daughter too. There is little comfort in this situation, I think. He is lost forever and you will always remember him and miss him, even as time papers over the cracks a bit.

Thinking of you.

Nolita Morgan

I waited to post anything here because I wanted to have something helpful to say but I can't come up with anything. I hope you are doing better today and pray for your healing. It's been 11 years since I gave up infertility took so long to get over the heartbreaks. I was convinced I was carrying boys too...thinking of you...


I'm so sorry. I am so sorry for your pain and loss. I am still here but lurking mostly now. I wish I could say something that would help but there really isn't anything. I still greive for the baby we lost and think about him almost daily, even though E, his twin, is with us. It takes as long as it takes to live with the greif and not let it devour your life. Deeply sorry.

Jonathan O.

I'm so sorry to hear that. Unfortunately, as you said, it's the human spirit that we hope and make plans no matter the situation... I had a friend who has been in a similar situation and it kinda destroyed any hope that she and her husband regarding having a baby...It's just sad...


I'm kind of astonished by this post...not that your the first person to heard from, but the way you told it...I'm really sorry for you and I hope you can surpass the difficulty of losing a child. Take care...


they say death takes you to a better place... you never know, sorry for your loss


This post really made me sad...I'm really sorry for your loss, I hope your heart will find peace after what happened. Take care...

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